Focus on What You Can Change
In a quiet life, you don't get overly concerned with what could have been, what will come, and what other people think. Because these are all things you can't control yourself.
Instead, you should focus on what you can change on your own. These are, above all, your own habits, behaviors and projects.
Amor fati means to love your fate and to be content with what you have. In my article “Limits of Control” I write more about this topic.
Interpret Events Positively
One quality that I really appreciate in my fellow human beings is their ability to think positively. I find it impressive how some people seem to be able to effortlessly see the good and the beautiful in every situation.
I myself sometimes fall victim to pessimism. When I catch myself doing this, I try to see the world in a more positive light. I don't always manage to do that – but on every occasion I manage to discover at least three good aspects.
Of course, it's not a matter of talking yourself into a better world or overlooking problems. On the contrary, a vision of things can help you work more efficiently on solutions. Rather, it's about not letting things you can't influence drag you down.
It doesn't make my life or the lives of those around me any better if I get hung up.
Breathe, Smile, Act
The easiest way to think more positively is to focus on the following things, in that order:
- Breathing: Concentrate on breathing deeply into your belly through your nose. You should exhale longer than you inhale. Your brain and body need enough oxygen to function properly. Take three deep breaths and notice how the fresh oxygen flows through your body and fills it with a new spirit of life.
- Smile: After that, try to smile in a friendly way. Your brain cannot distinguish a real smile from it and releases the same substances, so you will feel better after a short time.
- Act: Then focus on your task and act consciously so that you can achieve the best possible results.
Let Thoughts Go
Let go of your negative thoughts and feelings. The fact that you have stressful thoughts is not bad, but completely normal. These thoughts only become a problem when you merge with them and can no longer separate yourself from them.
Thoughts are not objective truths – they are subjective interpretations that you can control yourself. Recognize negative thoughts as such, contemplate them, and then let them move on. Do not hold on to them.
All this is easier said (or written) than done. I myself can't follow this advice at all times either. But I have noticed that whenever I apply them, I feel better.
You should also try to implement some of these tips. Even if you can't do it at all times, start again afterwards. It takes a lifetime to learn to live a calm life. So, it's all the better if you start now, step by step.