Lucas Brenner » Articles » Being Alone Is Not Bad

In today's society, we are always stressing the importance of doing something special every day. When we're alone instead or run out of energy to pursue fancy activities, we feel bad. On social media, we see the photos of other people who seem to be living the ideal life – which makes us feel even worse.

In truth, however, no one has a perfect life and we are not forced by anyone to live every day to the fullest. This is neither possible nor necessary to be happy. On the contrary, the only thing that keeps us from happiness are our false expectations and exaggerated demands on ourselves.

Everyone Has to Be Alone Sometimes

It wasn't until I started my term abroad that I realized it's perfectly normal for people to be alone. It's not always possible to do things with friends, and some things (like shopping, studying, working, or cooking) you often do without company.

First of all, everyone feels this way and you are no exception. It's perfectly normal not to do things with other people some days, and you don't have to feel bad about it.

Second, sometimes it's also good to be alone once you get used to it. Alone, we can work more focused, regenerate energy, and recover from overstimulation. Instead of seeing alone time as annoying, boring, or bad, see the opportunities in it. Everyone needs time alone to be (or stay) in tune with themselves.

It's Okay to Do Things Alone

Besides, time alone doesn't have to mean just sitting at home. No one is preventing you from doing things. If you pay attention, you will see many people around you going out to eat, sightseeing, watching a movie, or taking a walk without company. It is not forbidden to do all these things without social contact.

Of course, nothing can replace socializing with other people – that's not the point. But if none of your friends have time and that's the only reason you don't do anything, then you're putting obstacles in your own way.

Social Contact Should Release Energy, Not Consume It

Social contact with other people should be an overall source of energy. Depending on how introverted you are, socializing with other people may be more or less taxing for you, but overall, you should be energized by your circle of friends. However, if you spend too much time in company and are out of balance with yourself, this can lead to you feeling social contact more and more as a burden and (subconsciously) wishing for time alone.

That's why it's important to spend time alone with yourself on a regular basis. Whether you go for a walk alone, read a book or just lie on the sofa is up to you. Just do what you feel like doing – after all, you don't have to compromise with anyone! Find your balance with yourself again. Then you'll see that there's no reason to feel bad if you sometimes prefer to spend your time alone rather than with others.